No, we’re not talking about the hours required to persuade undecided Pennsylvanians that you’re the best Democrat to lead the country–although with polls opening across the Keystone State tomorrow at 7:00 a.m., that clock is ticking, too. No, we here at Stumper headquarters have an altogether, um, meatier concern.

Cheesesteaks.

It is the most sacred of Philadelphia political traditions: visit town, head to Pat’s or Geno’s in South Philly, order a cheesesteak–preferably “Wiz wit’”–and binge. Pennsylvania’s primary typically arrives too late in the process to have any real meaning, so presidential candidates have tended to pay their respects during the general election. But this year, of course, is different. So it comes as something of surprise that with only a few hours to go until D-Day, neither Democratic contender has indulged in this politically beneficial, cardiovascularly disastrous rite of passage (a.k.a. “photo op”). Not that they haven’t promised to. On April 3, Clinton spokesman Mark Nevins said that wanted the New York senator “to have an opportunity to visit the Philadelphia landmarks, including the great cheesesteak places,” and the previous night, Obama (who had just finished sampling $99.99/pound Spanish ham) told a crowd of supporters at the Convention Center that he was “going to get a cheesesteak the next time I come.” Since then, both White House hopefuls have been back to the city several times–and neither has taken the plunge.

Why have Clinton and Obama forsaken the steak? It’s true that the greasy subs have become something of a political timebomb since the last presidential election cycle. In August 2003, John Kerry attempted to order a cheesesteak from Pat’s with Swiss–a faux-pas, so to speak, in a town that prefers Wiz, tolerates provolone and accepts no other cheese. He was roundly mocked. And Geno’s has recently come under fire for instituting an English-only ordering policy (“This Is AMERICA: WHEN ORDERING `SPEAK ENGLISH.”’) “I think some of the places that were must-stops, aren’t must stops any more,” political analyst Larry Ceisler told the Philadelphia Daily News earlier this month. “I think that the Kerry experience was certainly a bad experience and I think the candidates look at that. Also, I don’t think they want to take the chance of the immigration issue.” That said, Clinton and Obama have handled far trickier situations with ease. Although both candidates are health-conscious–Obama, for example, joked about being skinny when he squeezed through two benches this afternoon in Blue Bell, and Clinton often laments not being able to exercise on the trail–both ate their fair share of food-on-a-stick at the Iowa State Fair last summer. And seven weeks with nary another primary to distract them means that “too busy” isn’t an acceptable excuse.

That’s why prefer to think that neither Clinton nor Obama–the chowhounds that they are–were content to settle for the admittedly second-rate steaks at Pat’s and Geno’s. In other words, they still haven’t found what they’re looking. Luckily for them, Stumper spent the past few days doing some reconnaissance. Without further ado, then, we heartily recommend (drum roll, please) the fine establishment known as D’Alessandro’s, where we dined tonight. Located on Wendover Ave. in Roxborough, it boasts none of those confusing “menu” contraptions, plenty of contented patrons…

… and a delectable steak wit':

Ah, the Dinner of Champions. Also recommended: John’s Roast Pork on Synder Ave.–but for a cheesesteak only, despite the name. For a roast pork sandwich–with broccoli rabe and sharp provolone and a sprinkle of red pepper–you want DiNic’s in the Reading Terminal Market.

Tick, tock, tick, tock…

UPDATE, April 22: Breaking! Back in Philadelphia today for a pair of photo ops, Obama finally scarfed down a cheesesteak. Unfortunately, he passed on D’Alessandro’s for Pat’s–but at least he kept his promise. From the pool report:

A crush of photographers surrounded the table as Obama ate his cheesesteak (a restaurant worker told me afterward that he ordered it, “With’’ – meaning, with onions). Obama finished his sandwich, but not his French Fries, which he tried to give away. Before posing for pictures with the other diners, he turned to Michelle. “Do I have Cheese Whiz in my teeth?’’ he asked. She told him he was good to go. Later, I asked Michelle how she enjoyed her cheesesteak. “I’m stuffed,’’ she reported.

Welcome to Philly, Michelle: City of Brotherly Love–and Gastrointestinal Destruction.